Thou shalt not worship

period.

Does your god have a sense of humor?

... just wondering.

Agnosticism is cowardism

While (most) religious people are sincere in their fallacy, agnostics are believers in doubt keeping up enlightened appearances.

I would divide atheists in non-theists and absentheists

“Non” as in “non-existent” for those who do not want to answer the god-question and “absent” as in "not here, not now" for those who do answer the god-question.

I am not an atheist

I rather call myself a non-theist. Calling myself an atheist would imply that the choice of believing or not is part of my system. Since I find the whole god concept too primitive to consider I do not even want to lower myself to that question. Call it haughtiness or whatever you want, but it is not, I am just years ahead of you and yours.

I am not a non-believer

Calling myself a non-believer would imply that the choice of believing (or not) is part of my system. It is not.
Reason rulez!

I might not make a good rabbi ...

but my congregation would have the time of their life.

Holy hoax!

religion