Monday, January 31, 2005

I've had a wonderful time...


"I've had a wonderful time, but this wasn't it." - Groucho Marx (1890-1977)




To the next post in the "Midlife" sequence.

Midlife (8)


When in my dark day,
Longing for rest,
A craven felo-de-se,
Pondering the smooth egress...


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Midlife (7)


At the isles of deception,
in my swamp of smart,
I changed my perception
of a chosen depart.


To the next post in the "midlife" sequence

Hallelujah


I've heard there was a secret chord
That David played and it pleased the Lord
But you don't really care for music, do you?
It goes like this
The fourth, the fifth
The minor fall, the major lift
The baffled king composing Hallelujah

Hallelujah

Your faith was strong, but you needed proof
You saw her bathing on the roof
Her beauty and the moonlight overthrew you
She tied you
To a kitchen chair
She broke your throne, she cut your hair
And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah

Hallelujah

Baby I've been here before, I know this room
I've walked this floor
I used to live alone before I knew you
I've seen your flag on the Marble Arch
Love is not a victory march
It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah

Hallelujah

There was a time you let me know
What's really going on below
But now you never show it to me, do you?
I remember when I moved in you
And the holy dove was moving too
And every breath we drew was Hallelujah

Hallelujah

Maybe there's a God above, all I ever learned from love
Was how to shoot at someone who out drew you
And it's not a cry you can hear at night
It's not somebody who's seen the light
It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah

Hallelujah
Hallelujah

- Lyrics by Leonard Cohen

Sunday, January 30, 2005

Midlife (6)


Once upon a time in a reality not so far away there was a Blind Altruist.

The people came from all over for his advice. They payed him with warm words but Blind Al could not see their cold eyes. Then it happened one day that Blind Al fell in a deep hole. And he started to yell for help, but the people did not seem to notice him. They all were too busy with their lives.

And slowly Blind Al's sight came back.



To the next post in the "midlife" sequence

To the next post in the "once upon a time" sequence

Saturday, January 29, 2005

Reflections for sabbath (1)


Ten Suggestions:

1. Thou shalt not believe all thou art told.
2. Thou shalt constantly seek knowledge and truth.
3. Thou shalt educate thy fellow man in Laws of Science.
4. Thou shalt not forget the atrocities committed in the name of god.
5. Thou shalt leave valuable contributions for future generations.
6. Thou shalt live in peace with thy fellow man.
7. Thou shalt live this one life thou hast to its full
8. Thou shalt follow a personal code of ethics.
9. Thou shalt maintain a strict seperation between religion and state.
10. Thou shalt support them who follow these suggestions.

Freely rendered from the Ethical Atheist


To the next post in the "Reflections for sabbath" sequence.

Friday, January 28, 2005

Midlife (5)


Once upon a time there was a king.

Or actually, there was a kingdom with an absent king. Its king was on an involuntary quest to Deeper Existence. And while the king was fighting many battles the sun didn’t rise in his kingdom, leaving it in darkness.

But after four long years, when the king returned, he brought with him many treasures.

And the sun started to shine again.



To the next post in the "midlife" and "once upon a time" sequence

Thursday, January 27, 2005

Obviation (5)


Once upon a time there were an oak and mistletoe.

"We can be such a good team" sang the mistletoe in the oak's ear, "Why don't you feed me and I will make us look much nicer."
And the oak agreed.

But after a few seasons the oak didn't feel too good. His leaves didn't grow as big and shining as they used to and his acorns hardly grew at all, while the mistletoe and his offspring just grew and grew...

So the oak amputated the mistletoe from his system in a painful operation and lived long, happily, and much wiser, ever after.

And the mistletoe? He is singing his tune in another host's ear.



To the next post in the "Once upon a time" sequence.

To the next post in the "Obviation" sequence.

Wednesday, January 26, 2005

His Loyal Opposition


"To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition." - Woody Allen


God's reputation


"I don't know if God exists, but it would be better for His reputation if He didn't." - Jules Renard (1864 - 1910)


Tuesday, January 25, 2005

Midlife (4)


When I finally saw ... the wall behind me,
I passed through the door I noticed there...
And found myself ... immersed in spring.


To the next post in the "midlife" sequence

Monday, January 24, 2005

Obviation (4)


Rats and gnats.
Without hate or doubt
I lock them out.



To the next post in the "Obviation" sequence.

Holocaust survivors, the second generation (5)


Family
as relics
of pain...


To the next post in the "second generation" sequence

Sunday, January 23, 2005

Obviation (3)


Who told you
a leech
to be?



To the next post in the "Obviation" sequence.

Bright and religious


Rational minds
entangled
in mythology.

Eyes of sorrow (3)


All painted
by
the same Artist.

Religious fear of the heterodox (2)


Born to be blind.
And a clear view
on the world?

Saturday, January 22, 2005

Eyes of sorrow (2)


Deep-set...
Dark outlined...
Depths of misery...

Obviation (2)


Humanly common...
Parasite's behaviour,
Society’s plague.



To the next post in the "Obviation" sequence.

Friday, January 21, 2005

Thursday, January 20, 2005

Midlife (3)


Authentic existence.
Aiming at balance,
Departing in peace.


To the next post in the "midlife" sequence

Wednesday, January 19, 2005

Morons born Jewish...


Say no more...

Midlife (2)


Surrounded by
invisible rings,
grading relations
with eyes
wide open.





To the next post in the "midlife" sequence.

Tuesday, January 18, 2005

Eyes of sorrow (1)


Indescribable memories,
To be read,
In the eyes of sorrow.

Difference?


Muslim or Jewish zealots?

Monday, January 17, 2005

Obviation (1)


Parasites
In disguise
Hard to recognize.



To the next post in the "Obviation" sequence.

Lessons of life...

I learned my most important religious lesson as young adolescent. My mother (may she rest in peace) was diagnosed with cancer. I got angry at God and spit in the air...

and got it right back in my face...

Sunday, January 16, 2005

Misfortune...


It’ll be better...
Sometime



To the next post in the "misfortune" sequence

Holocaust survivors, the second generation (3)


My life...

Atavistic sorrow...
Regressive emotional darkness...

Will I be a good buffer for my kids?



To the next post in the "second generation" sequence

Saturday, January 15, 2005

Midlife (1)


Waking up, looking back...
Contemplating...


What happened to the game?


To the next post in the "midlife" sequence.

Friday, January 14, 2005

Kablahblah...


We got married. The rabbi held a beautiful kabbala based drasha using the numeric values of our names. Irrefutably explaining that it was in the numbers on how well my wife and I belonged together. Just that part took him almost half an hour.

Too bad he had misspelled my wife’s name...

Losing my religion...


Oh, life is bigger
It's bigger than you
And you are not me
The lengths that I will go to
The distance in your eyes
Oh no I've said too much
I set it up.

That's me in the corner
That's me in the spotlight
Losing my religion
Trying to keep up with you
And I don't know if I can do it
Oh no I've said too much
I haven't said enough

I thought that I heard you laughing
I thought that I heard you sing
I think I thought I saw you try

Every whisper
Of every waking hour I'm
Choosing my confessions
Trying to keep an eye on you
Like a hurt lost and blinded fool, fool.
Oh no I've said too much
I set it up.

Consider this. Consider this
The hint of the century
Consider this
The slip that brought me
To my knees failed
What if all these fantasies
Come flailing around
Now I've said too much

I thought that I heard you laughing
I thought that I heard you sing
I think I thought I saw you try
But that was just a dream
That was just a dream

That's me in the corner.
That's me in the spotlight
Losing my religion.
Trying to keep up with you.
And I don't know if I can do it.
Oh no, I've said too much.

I haven't said enough.
I thought that I heard you laughing
I thought that I heard you sing.
I think I thought I saw you try.
That was just a dream.

Try. Cry. Fly. Try.
But that was just a dream, just a dream, just a dream, dream.


- Lyrics by R.E.M. -

Thursday, January 13, 2005

Emotionally handicapped…


Mourning in silence, sad eyes, sleepless nights/weeks/months, screaming out loud, venting emotions at each other, kids, family... And yet overflowing with love, a will to live and a forced cheerfulness...

I saw it, felt it, experienced it all... but didn't comprehend it....... then.



To the next post in the "second generation" sequence

Reinventing God...


What changes would you like to see?

Wednesday, January 12, 2005

Holocaust survivors, the second generation (2)


My father...

Thinking about my father (may he rest in peace) I visualize a particular moment in 1943: Two kids at the age of 10 and 12 - my father and his older sister - abandoned for their sake by their father at a tram-station in Amsterdam. Picked up by the resistance and brought to a save hiding place.

- Having kids myself I can’t even imagine what my grandfather must have felt leaving his kids behind like that, nor the terrible feeling of three long years not knowing if they are still alive. -

The kids were separated. My father was hidden in the northern part of the Netherlands, Friesland, given a Christian name and brought up in the Christian doctrine by a righteous family.

- We frequently visited my father’s “hiding parents”, I was only too young to realize the importancy of these people to my life. They’re both deceased, but I wish I could tell them how grateful I am, also on behalf of my kids. -

My father had his bar mitzvah together with me...



To the next post in the "second generation" sequence

Tuesday, January 11, 2005

Jingoistic Jews...


Why should Jingoistic Socialists be worse then Jingoistic Jews?
Any form of extreme nationalism jeopardises peace and is therefor to be rejected.

Monday, January 10, 2005

Holocaust survivors, the second generation (1)


My mother...

Chicken soup on Friday night and feeling Jewish mostly because of the deep sorrow we had to carry... not very inspiring. My mother (may she rest in peace) suffered from KZ syndrome as Bergen-Belsen survivor. I was named after her father, who was murdered in front of my mother's eyes, a few months before liberation. I remember her lying on the ground, foaming... I must have been three years old.

I grew up in the sixties in a little town and vividly remember the anti-Semitic aggression I encountered. Whenever I was confronted with anti-Semitism - in my recollection almost weekly - it felt like “they” were attacking my mother and by fighting “them” I felt like defending her. I remember my anger just because of the fact that I wasn’t born earlier so I could have protected my mother.

Sorrow and pain, a lot of pain… that’s how I remember my youth. I must have had nice moments too, but looking back they seem to be covered by a blanket of dark memories.



To the next post in the "second generation" sequence

Saturday, January 08, 2005

Religious fear of the heterodox (1)


Excluding opinions originating in other religions can have several reasons:
- A fear of one’s own protean conviction.
- A feeling of religious superiority, claiming a monopoly of the absolute truth.
- An urge to keep one’s mental life simple.

I can not find any virtuous reason.

Learning from other religions can be a chance to elevate one’s own moral existence.

One should be open for such.

Thursday, January 06, 2005

Mind opener...



“If any help was going to arrive to lift me out of my misery, it would come from the dark side of my personality.”

Robert Bly, A little book on the human shadow.


Wednesday, January 05, 2005

Politically correctness...


Witch-hunting seems to be an irrepressible component of the human nature. Although the followers remain the same, the appellation for their communal tyranny changed from witch-hunt to McCarthyism to political correctness. I wonder how it will be called in 50 years from now. Those who will follow it, I already know.