Limbo! (or: How low can you go?)

"Things can't get any worse, it can only get better from now on."

One morning in the jungle a huge gorilla wakes up. Widely he stretches his powerful arms, yawns intensely and while beating his impressive chest with his clenched fists he fills the jungle with his bellow, roaring: “HMMMMMMM, I could kill a lion with my bare hands”.

Then suddenly behind him he hears “WROOOOOOAAAARRRR”. He looks over his shoulder and really close-by there is this humongous lion. He then turns his head forward again, taps his chest with his forefingers and whispers: “Such stupid things a monkey can say”.

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One happy fatalist (12)

The accident two months ago made me into a real man; I can only do one thing at a time now.



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Why do I blog?

Writing helps me understand and cope with various aspects of life.
It has a therapeutic effect on me as a creative exhaust valve for my frustration, anger, love, doubts, pride, humor, sarcasm, irony, skepticism, happiness, sadness, friendship, fears and indignation. I mostly write for myself, trying to catch a thought into one sentence and as compact as possible.

I'm not really sure why I let others read it.
Is it that I find it relieving to “say” things out in the open or do I have negative motives like exhibitionism, attention-seeking and/or self assertion?

The essential Circumspection

The times they are a-changing
(It's a nicer amble on the other side of charity.)


Knockin' on heaven's door
(Can you please pick on someone else now?)


Jokerman
(...)

One happy fatalist (11)

I can't say my life is boring.



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Chutzpa

The doctor who treated me the first four weeks after my accident, and who did not diagnose me with severe concussion nor three broken ribs, recently accused me of “medical shopping”. He did this when he found out that I had switched to another hospital (where they did diagnose both).

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Finally a good hand-job

Eight weeks with people playing doctor; people who avoid all physical contact. Blindly relying on their impressive toys to make all sorts of scans and pictures. And when their toys don't detect any “hardware” problem then the complaints must be imaginary.

One hour with a manual therapist; the first one in 2 months who actually touched my neck. And he located the exact place of my problem in my neck's soft tissue (apparently not detectable by any of the fancy-schmancy doc-toys).

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Let's play hospital!

The difference between doctors and boys is the price of their toys.



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No wolf no cry

All human things are subject to decay
so why not friendship?

Cathartic crisis

The moment of profound grieve
purifying tears
pure simple emotions

then you wipe your eyes
take a deep breath
and proceed.



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One happy fatalist (10)

Thank God the fire in our basement (two hours ago) got noticed before it did any serious damage.



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Just another relaxing bladder test

Naked from the waist down, tubes stuffed down my penis, attached to all sorts of machines around me, sitting in some sort of gynecological chair, in a position not really appreciated by my broken ribs, a balloon pushed up my behind and inflated automatically (thank god), my bladder filled by a machine to near-bursting maximum, several people of both gender around me, watching me while I'm unable to follow the order to urinate in a sort of child's-potty that is situated somewhere underneath-behind me.

Later, the rapport from the doctor read that they found me a bit tensed.

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Circumspectly pragmatic

Accepting the current situation
but not as my final destination
thus arduously trying
applying
the drift.



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Reflections for sabbath (8)

Would we also have only ten commandments had Moses a weblog instead of stone, hammer and chisel?

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One happy fatalist (9)

Of our three remaining bicycles they only damaged one today.



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Closing down my business

I won't use
the excuse
of an “amputated leg”
to beg
but to start training for the paralympics.



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Freedom of choice

My doctor told me that instead of a whiplash I rather could have a broken hip.
I told her that next time I'll have an accident I'll try to remember.



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Agnostical anger

If I only knew who to get my hands on.



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Paradoxical pride diet

In times of poverty, pride has a negative nutritious value.
But if you don't want to loose weight you better swallow a lot of it.



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Reflections for sabbath (7)

[Ps. 37, 25]



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Oudje

"De geschiedenis van twee oude mensjes en een portretalbum"

Wij werden in een magere tijd, een tijd van zuinigheid geboren
Maar, met veel ijver en beleid wisten wij bronnen aan te boren
Van welvaart en van zekerheid, nu gaat dat alles weer verloren
Wij bijten straks weer op een houtje
Oudje

We kwamen echt in goeden doen, we konden zelfs wat potverteren
Nu zullen we, met goed fatsoen, nog met z'n beitjes moeten leren
Om, net als in de tijd van toen, de dubbeltjes weer om te keren
Ja, neem nog maar een laatste zoutje
Oudje

Zoals het met de business gaat dat dat niet zoveel langer meer kan duren
Daar hebben we al eerder over gepraat, ja zelfs tot in de late uren
En nu ik niet meer uit werken kan, dan zal dat ons 't meest bezuren
Ons optimisme was een foutje
Oudje

We hebben ze voorgoed gehad, die wondermooie vette jaren
Soms zou ik willen, lieve schat, dat wij twee oude vogels waren
Dan kwam er wel een grote kat om onze klus voorgoed te klaren
Een levenseind als lekker boutje
Oudje

- (freely rendered) Lyrics by Louis Davids -

The end of my future as I knew it?

No comic inspiration today. Have to drag myself to a meeting with the bank. Will my business survive or will the bank unplug it? The foresight of not being able to work for months doesn't really help me here.

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No I'm not depressed

But it wouldn't show much sense of reality
to be happy in my situation either.



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You've got to see it all as a game

End of game, you've lost.
Feel like playing another one?

Rope dancing through life

It is easier to keep your balance when you leave all your expectations behind you.

Learning all the time

Rearranging positions at the relational concentric circles around me.

Are you depressed?

Who? Me? Cripple, unable to work for months, married, 4 kids, no savings and no income... naaaah I'm not depressed. What gave you that idea?



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How do you feel?

Baruch HaShem, unbeshrieh and unberufen.


(Thanks to some Coversyl™, Lypanthyl™, Zantac™, Seretide™, Zolpidem™, Trazolan™, Contramal™, Dafalgan™ and Brufen™.)



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Non-suggestive multiple choice mental test

Q: Do you think your accident is something you deserved?

1) yes
2) absolutely
3) no doubt about it
4) most probably

Q: Do you think nobody loves you?

1) yes
2) absolutely
3) no doubt about it
4) most probably



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It's all in the mind

To keep my room mate from hearing our conversation, the psychiatrist closed the thin textile curtain that devides the room in two.



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Sleeping beauty

Sleeping pills despite
I still wake up at night.



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Rise and shine

Mornings I'm broken
like the worst mourning
Doc nerds have spoken
words so absurd
Crazed ribs are stinging
special the mornings
Praise for the pain pills
Brufen™ preferred.


Freely rendered from "Morning has broken" by Cat Stevens.


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Right

For more then three weeks I have been unsuccessfully trying to convince the doctors that the right side of my body is reacting slower.

Today they checked it again and were still not convinced.

But now they think the left side is quicker.

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Mind you

My neurologist wants me to do a memory test coming Friday. It will be given by the hospital psychiatrist.

The same one who forgot to come here yesterday.

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Zo vader, zo zoon

Vandaag van mijn oudste zoon een door hem gebrande cd gekregen.
Eerste nummer daarop: "Papa loop toch niet zo snel"



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Relax, you're in good hands

"I'm sorry sir, I don't have an explanation for that complaint, furthermore it doesn't fit into what I think you have."

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No Really?

"Mr.Circum, the effects of this accident are just in your brain."




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Strange

For something that is just imaginary it hurts an awful lot.



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Silly me

I keep forgetting that this pain is just imaginary.



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Imagine

Too bad that latest scan yesterday revealed 3 broken ribs (almost 6 weeks after the accident), I rather had the doctor telling me that I was just imagining that pain too. Then that problem would have been solved too.

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St.Doctor

Nothing was found
I just think I can't walk.
It's a real miracle
I don't even have to go to Lourdes anymore.



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The great pretender

Solid medical scientific logical explanation.


They can't find any organic damage, so I must pretend my impairment.

Ergo: I should get out of bed, and walk. So stupid of me, why didn't I think of that myself? {slapping my forehead}

Oh-oh, yes I'm the great pretender
Pretending a damaged brain cell
My gait is such I pretend too much
I'm walking but no one can tell.

Freely rendered from "The great pretender" by The Platters.

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