Chutzpa

The doctor who treated me the first four weeks after my accident, and who did not diagnose me with severe concussion nor three broken ribs, recently accused me of “medical shopping”. He did this when he found out that I had switched to another hospital (where they did diagnose both).

To the next post in the "Accident" sequence.

Finally a good hand-job

Eight weeks with people playing doctor; people who avoid all physical contact. Blindly relying on their impressive toys to make all sorts of scans and pictures. And when their toys don't detect any “hardware” problem then the complaints must be imaginary.

One hour with a manual therapist; the first one in 2 months who actually touched my neck. And he located the exact place of my problem in my neck's soft tissue (apparently not detectable by any of the fancy-schmancy doc-toys).

To the next post in the "Accident" sequence.

Let's play hospital!

The difference between doctors and boys is the price of their toys.



To the next post in the "Accident" sequence.

Just another relaxing bladder test

Naked from the waist down, tubes stuffed down my penis, attached to all sorts of machines around me, sitting in some sort of gynecological chair, in a position not really appreciated by my broken ribs, a balloon pushed up my behind and inflated automatically (thank god), my bladder filled by a machine to near-bursting maximum, several people of both gender around me, watching me while I'm unable to follow the order to urinate in a sort of child's-potty that is situated somewhere underneath-behind me.

Later, the rapport from the doctor read that they found me a bit tensed.

To the next post in the "Accident" sequence.

Freedom of choice

My doctor told me that instead of a whiplash I rather could have a broken hip.
I told her that next time I'll have an accident I'll try to remember.



To the next post in the "Accident" sequence.

Non-suggestive multiple choice mental test

Q: Do you think your accident is something you deserved?

1) yes
2) absolutely
3) no doubt about it
4) most probably

Q: Do you think nobody loves you?

1) yes
2) absolutely
3) no doubt about it
4) most probably



To the next post in the "Accident" sequence.

It's all in the mind

To keep my room mate from hearing our conversation, the psychiatrist closed the thin textile curtain that devides the room in two.



To the next post in the "Accident" sequence.

Sleeping beauty

Sleeping pills despite
I still wake up at night.



To the next post in the "Accident" sequence.

Right

For more then three weeks I have been unsuccessfully trying to convince the doctors that the right side of my body is reacting slower.

Today they checked it again and were still not convinced.

But now they think the left side is quicker.

To the next post in the "Accident" sequence.

Mind you

My neurologist wants me to do a memory test coming Friday. It will be given by the hospital psychiatrist.

The same one who forgot to come here yesterday.

To the next post in the "Accident" sequence.

Relax, you're in good hands

"I'm sorry sir, I don't have an explanation for that complaint, furthermore it doesn't fit into what I think you have."

To the next post in the "Accident" sequence.

No Really?

"Mr.Circum, the effects of this accident are just in your brain."




To the next post in the "Accident" sequence.

Strange

For something that is just imaginary it hurts an awful lot.



To the next post in the "Accident" sequence.

Silly me

I keep forgetting that this pain is just imaginary.



To the next post in the "Accident" sequence.

Imagine

Too bad that latest scan yesterday revealed 3 broken ribs (almost 6 weeks after the accident), I rather had the doctor telling me that I was just imagining that pain too. Then that problem would have been solved too.

To the next post in the "Accident" sequence.

St.Doctor

Nothing was found
I just think I can't walk.
It's a real miracle
I don't even have to go to Lourdes anymore.



To the next post in the "Accident" sequence.

The great pretender

Solid medical scientific logical explanation.


They can't find any organic damage, so I must pretend my impairment.

Ergo: I should get out of bed, and walk. So stupid of me, why didn't I think of that myself? {slapping my forehead}

Oh-oh, yes I'm the great pretender
Pretending a damaged brain cell
My gait is such I pretend too much
I'm walking but no one can tell.

Freely rendered from "The great pretender" by The Platters.

To the next post in the "Accident" sequence.

Running competition at the hospital

My roomy and me will hold a 100 meters race tomorrow morning.

We hope to be back before dark.



To the next post in the "Accident" sequence.

Half-time

If life's a game, then this hospital stay must be half-time...

I wonder what the second half will bring.



To the next post in the "Accident" sequence.

Changing to daylight-saving time in hospital

Great! I can stay in bed one hour longer.



To the next post in the "Accident" sequence.