Naches (9)

As so many parents I told my children when they were really young, that whenever they would fib, a big red line would appear on their forehead. I added to this that they could prevent me from seeing it by placing their hand over their forehead when they wanted to fib.

Four kids I have, and they all fell for it.

Sexual Education

My youngest son (10 yrs.) asked me how a baby would get a stork’s bite.

"Stork's bite": literally translation from the Dutch word “ooievaarsbeet”, meaning “a reddish birthmark in the neck”.

So I explained him that during the delivery the stork, with its beak, holds the baby in its neck. He looked at me in disbelief.

Then I asked him: “Or do you still think babies come from sex?”

Self-awareness (4)

"Ich bin ein Berliner Schmuck dealer." - Circumspection

Holocaust survivors, second generation (12)

Contemplating now, I consider the following as the awakening of my mistrust when it comes to hidden anti-Semitism.

I must have been 9 years old.

A nanny of whom my parents were really content looked after us, my little brother and me. Once when I wanted to kiss her, just as a little boy expresses his affection for an aunt, she repelled scornfully saying: “Bah, I don’t want no jodenlijm to my face”.

Jodenlijm: literally translated means “Jew glue” and is Dutch derogatory slang for “spittle”.

I never mentioned this to my parents. I felt something between shame and the need to shield them; I didn’t want to hurt their feelings. I did see this incident for a long time as example of the hypocrisy of the people around us; friendly to our faces but behind our back contemptuously referring to us as “those Jews”.

What did upset me the most though, was not the anti-Semitism, that I had experienced already enough (verbally and physically) at school and in the street. I couldn’t understand that my parents were blind to the fact that they had taken someone “like that” in our house...

It just did not feel safe anymore.

To the next post in the "second generation" sequence.

Über-Israelis

I was watching an interview with a colonist the other day when this man made the statement that “the colonists are the best Israel has to offer”...

And I thought to myself “so now we even have über-Israelis”.

Enjoy your time!

How can I, when living is taking up all of it?

Misfortune (12)

Making both ends meet...
an interesting job.

Schlemazel (Misfortune 11)

From newsboy to millionaire newsboy.



To the next post in the "misfortune" sequence

Obviation (19)

Behind every successful man there are a lot of scroungers.



To the next post in the "Obviation" sequence.

My doctor told me:

“When you take these pills till you’re 100 you’ll live long.”, and then charged me €50.

Reflections for sabbath (6)

Religion: the marriage beween magical thinking and obsessive-compulsive disorder.



To the next post in the "Reflections for sabbath" sequence.

My love

What is love
If we keep up our fences
So let’s get undressed
And share our nakedness
No borders of any kind between us

To continue together
We have to give
The things we need for our happiness
We can't buy
So let’s give up our fences
And share our nakedness

Though tenderness is free
It seems hard to give
You don’t show weakness
By giving it
So let’s give up our fences
And share our nakedness

What is nicer than to see
The pleasure of your partner
Giving tenderness to you
For what's love
When not equally shared
So let’s give up our fences
And share our nakedness

I need adult love
As a life buoy
In my existence
For without love
What’s the reason for all the suffering
So let’s give up our fences
And share our nakedness

It's a tragic game

Life is a dream for the wise, a game for the fool, a comedy for the rich, a tragedy for the poor..." - Sholom Aleichem (1859-1916)

Most of the time ...

"Most of the time I don't have much fun. The rest of the time I don't have any fun at all." - Woody Allen

Say what?!

You need two attentive listeners for a valuable dialogue.

Comme d'habitude

Je me lève
Et je te bouscule
Tu n'te réveilles pas
Comme d'habitude

Sur toi
Je remonte le drap
J'ai peur que tu aies froid
Comme d'habitude

Ma main
Caresse tes cheveux
Presque malgré moi
Comme d'habitude

Mais toi
Tu me tournes le dos
Comme d'habitude

Alors
Je m'habille très vite
Je sors de la chambre
Comme d'habitude

Tout seul
Je bois mon café
Je suis en retard
Comme d'habitude

Sans bruit
Je quitte la maison
Tout est gris dehors
Comme d'habitude

J'ai froid
Je relève mon col
Comme d'habitude

Comme d'habitude
Toute la journée
Je vais jouer
A faire semblant
Comme d'habitude
Je vais sourire
Comme d'habitude
Je vais même rire
Comme d'habitude
Enfin je vais vivre
Comme d'habitude

Et puis
Le jour s'en ira
Moi je reviendrai
Comme d'habitude

Toi
Tu seras sortie
Pas encore rentrée
Comme d'habitude

Tout seul
J'irai me coucher
Dans ce grand lit froid
Comme d'habitude

Mes larmes
Je les cacherai
Comme d'habitude

Mais comme d'habitude
Même la nuit
Je vais jouer
A faire semblant
Comme d'habitude
Tu rentreras
Comme d'habitude
Je t'attendrai
Comme d'habitude
Tu me souriras
Comme d'habitude

Comme d'habitude
Tu te déshabilleras
Oui comme d'habitude
Tu te coucheras
Oui comme d'habitude
On s'embrassera
Comme d'habitude

Comme d'habitude
On fera semblant
Comme d'habitude
On fera l'amour
Oui comme d'habitude
On fera semblant
Comme d'habitude

- Lyrics by Claude François & Gilles Thibault -

Midlife (26)

Once upon a time down by a muddy riverside there was a frog named Hermit the Schlemazel.

He was up to his neck in the mud and secretly longed for a sunny overgrown uninhabited little riverside of his own, to spend the rest of his life in solitude. But he had to watch over his spawn, swarming in the mud not aware of the slosh they were in. So he decided to wait...

And the mud around him got thicker and colder...


To the next post in the "midlife" sequence

For what is a man...

Behind every successful man there is a strong woman,
behind every failed man his creditors.

Midlife (25)

I'm not depressed anymore...
just terribly realistic.



To the next post in the "midlife" sequence

Midlife (24)

I see my life as a game....
a lost one.



To the next post in the "midlife" sequence

Happiness (4)

You’re only here temporarily, so enjoy dammit!