"I know I promised you that, but I also told you not always to believe me. You didn’t believe that, did you?"
Sunday, August 17, 2008
Saturday, August 16, 2008
Believe it or not
A recent American study has evinced that children sucking their thumb are more likely to become religious then the non-suckers.
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
Holiday happiness day 14
One of the waiters here wanted to flirt with my oldest daughter.
He asked my youngest son how to say in our language "I like you very much".
My son taught him "I have a garlic breath".
He asked my youngest son how to say in our language "I like you very much".
My son taught him "I have a garlic breath".
Click here for the first day.
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Holiday happiness day 13
The MTV wannabe dynasty.
A new family has arrived here in the hotel; father, mother and two children.
Father:
In his early thirties, smoking like a chimney, skinny type with some impressive meant tribal tattoos on his hardly impressive upper-arms, flashy ear stud, flashy plastic sunglasses, over sized Rolex-Daytona-type watch on his wrist, several rings on his fingers, short dark hair with a broad peroxide dyed yellowish/blond band dividing his head in three equal parts making his head look like part of a crosswalk.
Mother:
Also in her early thirties, smoking as the same chimney, her long blond hair needs a new color-treatment as the old one has visibly been an approximate 4 centimeters ago, flashy fake Dior sunglasses, a fleshy impersonation of the Astarte fertility sculpture. I did not check on tattoos but would not be surprised if she has some.
Daughter:
Around 14 or 15, smoking like a little chimney but only since recently judging by the way she holds a cigarette in her fingers in what she apparently presumes to be mature. Skinny teenybopper, parading with her just budding breasts in what is supposed to be a sexy outfit, long brown hair, wearing big loop shaped earrings, nose stud, too much eye-liner and make-up.
Son:
Around 10 years old, not started smoking in public yet, a clone of his father in all, hair cut and colors, ear stud, sunglasses, posture etc. except I think his tattoo is a stick-on. Cool wide legged walking around in this tropical heat in his over sized skater clothes with screaming prints of some big brands and an over sized baseball hat diagonally on his head.
It made me think that this is what it looks like when kids are having kids.
A new family has arrived here in the hotel; father, mother and two children.
Father:
In his early thirties, smoking like a chimney, skinny type with some impressive meant tribal tattoos on his hardly impressive upper-arms, flashy ear stud, flashy plastic sunglasses, over sized Rolex-Daytona-type watch on his wrist, several rings on his fingers, short dark hair with a broad peroxide dyed yellowish/blond band dividing his head in three equal parts making his head look like part of a crosswalk.
Mother:
Also in her early thirties, smoking as the same chimney, her long blond hair needs a new color-treatment as the old one has visibly been an approximate 4 centimeters ago, flashy fake Dior sunglasses, a fleshy impersonation of the Astarte fertility sculpture. I did not check on tattoos but would not be surprised if she has some.
Daughter:
Around 14 or 15, smoking like a little chimney but only since recently judging by the way she holds a cigarette in her fingers in what she apparently presumes to be mature. Skinny teenybopper, parading with her just budding breasts in what is supposed to be a sexy outfit, long brown hair, wearing big loop shaped earrings, nose stud, too much eye-liner and make-up.
Son:
Around 10 years old, not started smoking in public yet, a clone of his father in all, hair cut and colors, ear stud, sunglasses, posture etc. except I think his tattoo is a stick-on. Cool wide legged walking around in this tropical heat in his over sized skater clothes with screaming prints of some big brands and an over sized baseball hat diagonally on his head.
It made me think that this is what it looks like when kids are having kids.
Click here for the next day.
Monday, August 11, 2008
Holiday happiness day 12
How to be a tour-guide for dummies
A five-minute course on how to become a professional tour-guide.
Part one
Smile, say good morning to the dummies, brag about your magnificent country and mention the tip box.
Part two
$mile, offer the dummies some overpriced drinks, brag some more about your illuminated country and mention the tip box.
Part three
Smi£e, show the dummies a pile of old rocks and stones, make up a story about it, keep bragging about your dazzling country and mention the tip box.
Part four
Smil€, bring the dummies to the local jeweler, leather house, carpet factory or any other merchant you can make a good commission deal with, do not stop bragging about your unbelievable fantastic country and mention the tip box.
Part five
$mi£€, bring the dummies back to their hotel while bragging about the modest mentality of the people of your country and mention the tip box.
Did we mention the importance of the tip box yet?
A five-minute course on how to become a professional tour-guide.
Part one
Smile, say good morning to the dummies, brag about your magnificent country and mention the tip box.
Part two
$mile, offer the dummies some overpriced drinks, brag some more about your illuminated country and mention the tip box.
Part three
Smi£e, show the dummies a pile of old rocks and stones, make up a story about it, keep bragging about your dazzling country and mention the tip box.
Part four
Smil€, bring the dummies to the local jeweler, leather house, carpet factory or any other merchant you can make a good commission deal with, do not stop bragging about your unbelievable fantastic country and mention the tip box.
Part five
$mi£€, bring the dummies back to their hotel while bragging about the modest mentality of the people of your country and mention the tip box.
Did we mention the importance of the tip box yet?
Click here for the next day.
Sunday, August 10, 2008
Holiday happiness day 11
One of the joys of being the father of an 18 year old attractive girl is that I finally can have my revenge on all the good-looking boys that, in contrary to me when I was that age, where always popular and lucky with the girls.
A boy, the type that I just described, a bit older then my daughter was hitting on her while I was sitting nearby. I did not even have to look good to see the abundant level of testosterone shining, almost dripping, through his eyes when he was smooth-talking and name-dropping to impress her. Now I know my daughter is a clever girl who can see through such a charade, but when he asked her what they were going to do that night I couldn't resist interfering by saying "I know what you two are not going to do tonight".
Click here for the next day.
Saturday, August 09, 2008
Holiday happiness day 10
Bargaining tips from the empiric expert - part two
The holiday bargaining confusion strategy.
The seller wants 50. Offer 25.
The seller will be very indignant and it is only because you are his friend and that he knows people from your city that are very nice too that you can have it for 40. Thank him in the most polite way and then offer 20 with a serious face. This will confuse him and with some luck he will say that you just offered 25. Thank him in an exuberant way, take out your wallet and count out 25. While the seller looks at you, trying to find out if you are sane or not, keep smiling at him in an evangelic kind of way. If this all does not work, go for the "me not speak English good" strategy.
Whatever you do, keep smiling and remember that it is only a game and no matter what you do, you will loose. Only how much is up to you.
The holiday bargaining confusion strategy.
The seller wants 50. Offer 25.
The seller will be very indignant and it is only because you are his friend and that he knows people from your city that are very nice too that you can have it for 40. Thank him in the most polite way and then offer 20 with a serious face. This will confuse him and with some luck he will say that you just offered 25. Thank him in an exuberant way, take out your wallet and count out 25. While the seller looks at you, trying to find out if you are sane or not, keep smiling at him in an evangelic kind of way. If this all does not work, go for the "me not speak English good" strategy.
Whatever you do, keep smiling and remember that it is only a game and no matter what you do, you will loose. Only how much is up to you.
Click here for the next day.
Friday, August 08, 2008
Holiday happiness day 9
"Oh daddy, daddy, that girl's father has a candy store. That is soooo cool." my youngest daughter told me.
"You know what is really cool? An ice cream store." I replied.
"What is so cool about an ice cream store?" my wife asked.
"You know what is really cool? An ice cream store." I replied.
"What is so cool about an ice cream store?" my wife asked.
Click here for the next day.
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